Sing Your Song!

Each morning, for many years,  Dorothy and I have our Morning Meeting where we talk about our plans for the day and share a reading or two,  usually some poetry.  We both look forward to this time to connect.  During the past year I've added a new wrinkle to the festivities -  on most days I write a short "poem" just before the meeting starts and then share it with D.  This is basically a "stream of consciousness" process that has captured my imagination.  It seems the less I try to control what I write the more fun and interesting it is.

I'm trying to stay above judgement and let some creative juices find their way through my. coagulated synapses. This is the same way I feell about all "art."  I think we all have a creative side but often let it lay unattended and unexpressed because we're intimidated by judgement and "professionals".  

I remember the pure joy of my kindergarten finger painting. Wouldn't it be great if each one of us mature adults could feel free enough to let our soul find its wings through art?

Here's to your song! May you sing. it loud and strong.

These are a few of my recent morning words

11/11/2023

Encounter

The buck freezes staring towards the back of the yard

He’s facing away from me but I can feel the intensity of his eyes

The polished sharpness of his antlers magnifies his focused stillness

Suddenly a grey fox runs across the opening at the edge of the woods

I can feel the deer’s energy exploding in the air around him

but he remains perfectly still’'

Then

 just as suddenly

 its over

’

The fox is gone and the buck ambles quietly away

11/12/2023

Norway maple resisting leaf loss

last of the trees to surrrender to barreness

it too will have to accept

it must get naked to survive

11/13/2023

Leaves falling gently to the ground

curved golden acrobats in the warm morning light

finding solace nestled among their fallen comrades

May your soul and spirit fly

Keep in touch!

Holy Hunger and Parkinson's

Hello out there!

I started this Holy Hunger post several years ago and think its about time I get back on this unruly horse of introspection.  Here's what I wrote then...

What do I want at this tail end of living?  Who cares?  Why is it always about me?  Shouldn't I be asking bigger questions like - What can I/we do to tackle systemic racism?  Hunger?  Inequality? Trumpism? etc. etc....  Yeah, I probably should but its just not where my head and heart are nowadays.   

What I'm most interested in and want the most,  (besides the health and happiness of the people I love, which is a given), is, hold your hats, to be closer to God. 

The "hold your hats" comment is a defensive qualifier springing from a deep discomfort talking about God stuff publicly.  I'm now 73 years old.  Up until the age of 18 I was seriously twisted and abused by Catholic indoctrination and control.  I've spent much of the past fifty years trying to recover from the damage done.

Escaping Catholicism has been one of the most important processes of my life.  A difficult but exhilarating discovery of a world  of truth and wonder.  New exciting ideas were no longer threats to my "faith".  Different cultures,  sexual identities,  political perspectives were no longer seen through a narrow Catholic prism.  I could start to see thing more realistically and appreciatively beyond the shadows of judgement and fear.

So that was me three years ago.  Where am I now?  Am I closer to God? Have I found resolution and redemption? Uh, not quite. But....

I think I am more at peace.  If you're at all familiar with my prior blog entries you know how I've struggled trying to find a place of of calmness and acceptance.

What's different?   Did I have some sort of spiritual awakening?  Did my years of meditation finally unlock the door?  Did I finally accept Trump as the one, true Son of God?  Nope.  

What happpened was much more mundane.. I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease

I originally resisted the diagnosis but I eventually had to accept the fact that I have a chronic, progressive, debilitating disease.   The pace of progression and severity of symptoms can vary widely.  So far my main symptom is tremors and there has been minimal impact on my daily life. There is no cure but there are medications that can help with symptoms.  

 A tough pill to swallow, for sure, but I think it has been good for my restless soul.

The only coping strategy that makes sense at this point (and hasn't this 13 year blog been all about finding a coping strategy?) is to (drum roll) ....live in the present, take one day at a time,  etc., etc.  God I hate cliches.   Oh well.  That's it.  I'm more peaceful and happier because I want to savor the joy of living while I'm still able to.  I've been forced to truly accept my mortality.  How simple!  How liberating!  How grateful I am!    

Don't get me wrong.  It's not easy but it's okay.  And that's a big deal.

So how does this living from moment to moment manifest iitself?

Stay tuned!