Lying in bed this morning, waiting to get inspired to make my entrance onto terra firma, I was rethinking the thoughts expressed in yesterday's blog. What was it about the Nietzsche reading that got me so jazzed up? I've been stewing for months. Feeling adrift, at sea, rudderless, etc. Not depressed necessarily, but unexcited, unmotivated, blah. And here comes a guy who says, "A man never rises higher than when he does not know whither his path can still lead him." And, to ice the cake, this prestigious German philosopher backs up this assertion with a rather convincing line of reasoning.
Holy shit! I'm not down I'm up! I'm not lost, I'm found. Friedrich, you da man.
Why should I feel validated and energized by the words of a 19th century philosopher who according to the short bio preceding the Sun magazine article...
"at the age of thirty-four..retired from is post as a professor...and for the next ten years led a nomadic existence, living in cheap boarding houses...all the while suffering poor health, experiencing nearly constant pain, and having limited human contact - conditions he saw as necessary to his work. (emphasis added) In 1889 he suffered a mental collapse in the streets of Turin, Italy, reputedly upon seeing a horse being whipped. He never recovered, spending the last eleven years of his life in a semiconscious state. He died in 1900. "
I think there may be more than validation going on here. It's nice to have someone suggest that my somewhat tortured quest for post retirement truth and meaning is an honorable, noble? pursuit. But I have a sneaking suspicion that this warm and fuzzy afterglow of affirmation may soon be superseded by an uncomfortable call to principled action. A dealers demand to ante up, to put my money where my thoughts are.
Nietzsche's words earlier in the same essay provides an uncomfortable foreshadowing of the difficulty of making this translation. "...men are even lazier than they are timid, and fear most of all the inconveniences with which unconditional honesty and nakedness would burden them."
His own tragic life showed that the burden could go far beyond inconvenience.
I know I'm not ready to be unconditionally honest. I used to try to make that my modus operandi but found it ultimately to be too self-serving at the expense of others. Nakedness is certainly out of the question at this late date but a little more exposure could be a good thing.
In summary I feel Mr. Nietzsche gave me a pat on the back and somehow this is boosting my courage and energy to continue down the path even though I have no idea "wither (this) path can still lead."
Life can be so wonderful and fascinating at times.
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